Depression is one of those things that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. You can’t stop it, you can’t control it; you have no power. And nothing should have power over you, except yourself. You feel this gnawing in your stomach, water swelling behind your eyes and a hollowing feeling deepening in your chest. It never goes away. Sometimes it’s subtle, and barely felt, but when it’s bad, oh god it’s bad. On the nights when you can’t breathe, can’t think of anything but the pain in your body that you can’t get rid of. It kills you from the inside, slowly. Each day subtly eating away at you.
It’s been almost five months and I feel like things should be getting better, but they just seem to be getting worse. The pain is getting stronger and the water behind my eyes refuses to evaporate. Randomly throughout the day I feel myself choking back tears for no reason. I can’t get you out of my head. You’re like a disease and I don’t know how to stop you. And I have no idea who to talk to about this.